Saturday, June 26, 2004

Feelings are something uncontrollable..Though u can be attached, it cannot stop u from liking another person..ive experienced it before myself..i liked someone else when im attached but i told myself i had to choose one if not it'd be unfair to the other so i broke up with my boyfriend for that and for other reasons which i dun wanna talk abt rite now..making passes at a girl when u r attached however is so not acceptable...know wat u wan!!! go for wat u believe and do wat is right! think for ur other half and how would they feel.. would u feel hurt if he/she does the same? hitting on someone else behind ur back? checkin gals or guys out however is a totally different thing.. u cannot force ur bf/gf to stare cos its only natural that he/she does if not he/she is not a girl or a guy... clear things off urself and really figure out wat u wan in ur life.. who u wan...etc then again falling in love cannot be forced its a two way thing why get all pissed off and do stupid things to urself when u cant get the gal or guy u wan...is it worth it? to risk ur life over someone who will love u but only out of pity?? if playing the game betw two in suspense (e.g tryin to figure out if she likes u or he likes u) doesnt work for u and only makes u more hurt jus tell the other person how u feel..but if u enjoy the suspense and the thrill why not -wink- it entirely depends on how u play it..dun force love let it come to u.. and to those who r afraid to love..if u never fall u never know...u r just letting something which might be precious slip through ur fingers..getting hurt makes u a stronger person give it a try..give urself time to grow into the person u wan urself to be..no one said life was gonna be easy but yet no one said tat not one day is gonna be a good day either..why wanna force someone to love u when ultimately he/she doesnt? my mummy always says find someone who loves u more than u love him... being in a relationship is a challenge its a way of getting to know more about each other.. no two persons are exactly the same...accept each other for who they are and not wat u would want them to be..its all abt compromising and giving in to each other..and most importantly having fun...

Friday, June 25, 2004

Hide It production was a blast!!! i wanna thank all who have put in effort in helping out in this play and also those who came to watch it.. -wink- ..it was amazing and i definitely enjoyed myself.. it somehow brought the entire cast and crew closer..though sometimes there might be some disagreements and misunderstandings between all, it shows that no one single person is perfect..i was smiling like crazy yesterdae till my cheeks hurt..haha cos somehow i was proud of myself for not screwing up any parts of the play..oh ya heres the best part! i wanna thank some certain pple who made me so pissed!!!! i could act betta! lol really guys! get a life will u!!! i dun wanna name anyone here becos its all over and i dun wanna bring it up again!! its jus a freakin rehearsal!!! and the cast of Hide it dun hafta be BOSSED around like dogs!!! Superiority does not exist in any freakin dictionary when it comes to the entire cast be it hide it or bottled dreams!!! i know i looked so pissed u guys were tryin to figure out if Adi and i were really pissed or not during the thursday rehearsals!! well YES WE ARE!!!! i think both Adi and I deserve at least a form of respect!!! if U know who U are...just dun get so egoistic ok!! gosh!! jus talking abt it makes me lose my appetite and ive never gotten so pissed off before!!! ok enough about this! anyway if im not wrong there might be a repeat of Hide It and Bottled Dreams when school reopens but i have no idea when yet..oh ya before i forget thanks sufian for the compliment i really appreciate it..hehe though i enjoyed myself im still tired.. -grins- jus spoke to fadz on msn and he wants me to try out for auditions for his band cos they need a singer..erm..am i good enough for it? haha i dunno man..but see how i guess..cos yr2 sem 1 is rather hectic..hmmm yeah.. sigh...anyway ciao guys! im too pissed to blog some more...arghhh! sorrie :(

Friday, June 18, 2004

yay yay! its saturday baby! but im still drained man..hehe gonna be watchin harry potter with my brother later..oh ya..check this out guys..apparently someone wrote this for me and when i read it i cried... (or is it i cry easily? haha)

anyway here goes:

(by anonymous..sorrie guys promised him i wouldnt say cos hes shy.. -grins-)

=====The Voice Within===== by Christina Aguilera

Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl its alright
Your tears will dry you'll soon be free to fly

When your safe inside your room, you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants to bother to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Young girl don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl just hold tight
Soon you're gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
Its so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you look outside look inside to your soul


Thursday, June 17, 2004

yesterdae mornin was horrendous i jus couldnt stop crying and it took me awhile before i got over this mess.. but thanks to everyone on the set who took my mind off things for awhile.. it was the first time we r rehearsing on the stage itself cos all our previous rehearsals were at the music room.. it was hilarious when it came to us trying to rearrange ourselves in darkness before the lights came on..i swear i was having a hard time finding the platform where i had to stand on.. hehe the funniest part was seeing adi and sara on their knees trying to find the ball backstage hahaha and joyce and i had to change our clothes so when she went backstage to do it, she jus refuse to open the door to let me in as well so i had to convince her that wat she got i had as well haha -grins- lines were missed out and conversations were cut off but we covered it up well and managed to rehearse em smoothly hehe however we still had our giggles and laughs in between which kinda makes these rehearsals fun.. did i mention fadhil made me look like cleopatra when he did my make up for me...gosh..ok now im gonna promise myself that i will do my make up myself confirm! haha it did make my eyes bigger but i look like im from the chinese opera..goodness..hey wait a minute..my eyes are big enough fadhil haha oh ya if i remembered correctly i thought JY looked nice yesterdae hehe rock on girl! gosh if i can ever find something to replace those heels i wore yesterdae i would! not that i hate heels but honestly having rehearsals with em is a killer! hmmm..before i end this entry jus wanna say to edwina cheer up gal..tho it hurts ur strong darling! and joyce, we r always bimbos and bitches haha in our own eyes tat is.. never mechanical babe never hahaha take care gals n guys..have a great weekend! -wink-

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Accompanied my grandma to the hospital to see her sister today which is why i couldnt make it for the 10am meeting in school.. my grand aunt jus finished her operation recently and its painful to look at her suffer actually.. shes such an angel..though she has a mild case of schizophrenia she still seems cheerful and not at all crazy to me.. wateva it is..she didnt deserve all this shit..when i saw her lying on the hospital bed not smiling at all..tears were rolling down my face because she was crying..she is in soo much pain and i do wish i could be the one helping her with the pain at least a lil if not everything.. the most hurting part was seeing my grandma cry..my grandma has always been a very strong person and seeing her cry jus makes me feel worse..i tried to talk about stuff which would make them smile..the happy memories and all..it worked for awhile but i guess reality is reality we have to face it..my grandma kept telling her to endure and face everyday as a challenge that it'll soon be over and to stop crying..ive never been a strong person myself..my mummy has always been my pillar of support and if she falls i fall as well tats how weak i am..i had to get outta the room for awhile because i didnt want my grandma to see that i could feel her pain and anxiety..if i can i wanna take away all her problems and troubles and let her not think of anythin tat would upset her..but i noe it isnt possible the only thing i can do right now is to try my best to talk to her and listen to her talk about how she feels.. and also try my best not to cry so easily..damn! my grandma has always told me that i cry too easily..i should be strong..but its not possible when two of my closest pple on earth are in pain one emotionally and the other physically... wateva it is i think if i try i would succeed..i jus wanna see everyone happie..ok? hey guys we only live once..enjoy ur life while u can..because u never noe wat happens the next day..try not to complain and be content with what we already have..life is and will always be full of surprises...most importantly tell e closest pple around u how u treasure and love em before its too late.. take care gals n guys..

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

today was a blast!! haha ive never had sooo much fun since i dunno when hehe or accepted so many freakin dares..haha i think i found someone who completely clicks with me haha hey joyceee babe...haha we had our rehearsals as usual...and they forced me to put on this skimpy pink top that was cross backed and midriff...somethin i would wear to town and not to parade around school...not to mention for the production...gosh..i felt naked -blush- guess who was my make up artist? fadhil! haha but he did quite a good job...let me stress q-u-i-t-e haha since he made me look like im on the covers of a wayang magazine..well not exactly wayang magazine i look more mature and gothic according to him as he applied paint err...i mean eyeshadow on my eyelids haha but Adi was a different story haha yes he is acting as a gay and JY really succeeded in makin him look like one with her fine make up skills haha poor guy..but really we had loads of fun experimenting..haha the rehearsals were fun but a lil messy here and there becos we kinda missed out lines here and there.. hey we're after all human fadhil! haha kidding...hes such a great director didnt stress us at all..and tho we get on his nerves sometimes faddy.. bear with it haha -grins- im succeeding in being mean haha anyway joyceee babe and i were at mc donalds havin dinner.. i guess i didnt get much food down cos of all the giggling and laughing haha cos actually when we placed out orders at e counter, this weird thing happened..this guy who was ordering next to me found the miniature hourglass interestin so he fiddled with it and i told him to shake it shake it..he looked puzzled so i said he would get a free ice cream so he did it haha then e person serving him was like shakin his head at me.. haha then he started flirting and all so of cos stacey er...played along haha and got herself a free ice cream since he offered haha anyway i casually said that if i dared joycee to ask for his nos would she do it the next thing i noe, she went downstairs and asked for his nos and guess wat? she said i wanted it!!!...gosh...i wasnt interested in that guy! goodness.. sheesh man...so i actually went down and told him it was a dare since he actually gave his nos and got so shy about it according to joycee haha apparently the guy is an indonesian so he didnt noe wats a dare..haha so im sorta saved...haha but im also sorta made to ask for his fren's nos anyway haha we headed back to school after that and played some more we actually brought the dare and laughin vibes back to school and played truth or dare with the entire club haha some of the errr..details like rashad and joycee's dare, i think its betta to leave it out from here...its a lil too hot for the blog to handle hahaha we went to the stadium after a while and tat was where i had to errr..hold this guy's hands and walk around i didnt even noe him man.. and he was like telling his frens: "hey guys! my gf!" goshhhh way way embarrassing.. so when we walked for awhile i was like..."erm...its ok errr..we can stop acting now" and he was like "awwww jus like tat? so sad... sigh..." so so humiliating haha..anyway i did have fun..but as usual im still sooo soo tired...hope u guys had fun too ok..huggies boys and girls.. ciao.. -wink-

Sunday, June 13, 2004

ok..im hyper today haha weird.. jus tried this freaky friendster thingy..i swear it really is freaky cos all the answers are so so true..try it ok ok..i jus posted it not long i guess..hehe hey count down two more days to u noe wat..haha (thurs 10.30pm) awww...hehe went out with azlan yesterdae...and he is still so so so crazy...did i mention he is botak hahaha anyway i thought i was worse than him cos im alreadi crazy but he is 10 times worse! we went to the police carnival at thomson and check out the stuff they displayed there...it was rather boring actually even he thought so haha we had problem trying to finish the tickets he bought he even tried to offer them to some cutie lil kid at the carnival haha we went to town after that to slack around and that guy went around makin fun of pple and laughin here laughin there...gosh...haha some girl was talking abt a top she likes from topshop and he went up to her and said really ah? hahaha and hes also a sucker for cd's...he bought more things than i did yesterdae.. ok actually i didnt buy anythin hahaha we practically toured the whole of orchard till our feet hurt haha do u noe how many freakin frens this guy got? plenty man!! thank god i didnt see 'her' in town today.. if not she will speak in her slang accent again "u're stacey right?" gosh..haha ok im mean...but really shes so so...no words can describe haha hope alifya's enjoyin her camp since she has wonderful scenery hahaha -wink- im off...gotta go catch a movie with my bro later....... see ya guys! -grins-

Friday, June 11, 2004

sleepy...sleepy...sleepy..hehe -grins- today is a sleepy day i jus feel sooo tired.. dunno why haha went for teaching this mornin at 9 and kimberly is sooo cuute i was explaining the water cycle to her and cos she couldnt quite understand, i had to explain in a simpler way so, i said when too much water has evaporated, the cloud gets too heavy it has to pee pee then water falls down as rain..hmmmm i thought end of explanations then she asked me what if the clouds ate too much it has to poo poo how? haha i cant help but laugh so i had to explain clouds dun poo poo haha then jus before i finish teaching her, her mummy commented on my shoe size again haha ok yeah yeah i noe they r small and i dunno why..see its a freakin 3 and a half size..so u can imagine...hmmm actually i have the same size feet as kimberly a 9 yr old...now i feel pathetic -blush- after class, i had to figure out my way to Maris Stella High School to pick up the king! can u believe it my 12 yr old brother cant go home himself! he needs his sister to awww...pick him up... -grins- ok im mean.. the reason why we have to do that is cos my mummy is afraid he might just wander off like the last time he tried...went off to play computer games at his fren's place...and the way this boy crosses the road, he practically flies! the word walking is not and never will be in his dictionary..ok enough about him.. did u guys catch the OC last nite?? ryan aka ben mckenzie is so so hot.. *faints* i like his eyes... and that smile... *faints again* hahaha well, mischa barton is jus as great! her eyes jus shines with her when she smiles! hehe -grins- (i think i told this to Lionel a zillion times! haha) anyway im still sleepy...arghhh..hey! theres strawberries in e fridge! yummy!! -wink- see ya!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

wowww..hehe amazing day..im sooo crazy today not that im not always crazy (right shaiful??) hahaha.. but it was a great dae.. firstly, this girl here managed to drop her script for the first time for all the scenes in the production..im proud of myself cos usually im hubba hubba (according to firdaus) hahaha which stands for starhub cos im slow lah..hehe Aaron wanted to accompany me to school today cos he wanted to get a tan before going to port dickson tomoro haha apparently i hope he did later on cos he joined us in rehearsals for awhile, laughed and laughed..we had sooo much fun and he gave me this cute cute cute doggie which i refuse to admit is a dog and i kept sayin its a bear haha -grins- its not a real doggie by the way hehe its a stuff toy.. soo cuuute.. i named it Aaron and placed it on my shelf with all the bear bears haha maybe they'll be friends -grins- hmmmm today is also my dad's birthday..hehe made him a card which i kept thinkin is childish but Lionel said it isnt so i hope it isnt haha..my mum said the same thing as well..haha and also gave him a wallet as a present which Alif picked out haha.. oh ya!!! the OC is today!!!!! hehe -blush- gosh that Alifya babe huh manage to go for some camp and kept telling me that there's a major cutie's in that camp! sheesh man!!! unfair! hahaha anyway enjoy ur holidays ok babes! and those workin, remember to get a life as well -wink- after all its gonna be slogging again next semester..peace babes and hunks! Ciao -wink-

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

okay guys im back in business haha -grins- those of u who always come in and realise that this girl here doesnt update her blog thats cos shes freakin lazy hehe -wink- and also certain stuff cannot be put in here lah hehe so i jus write it in my diary... hmmmm holidays has been so hectic..at first i thought its gonna be soo boring but everyday im like up and going im draining my own 'resources' hahaha "Hide It" production has been going smoothly i think..well at least i always have fun during my rehearsals though it gets irritatin as well cos of pple like u noe who... (i think lionel would noe who) hahaha but theres always shaiful who always tries to lighten up the whole rehearsal haha and fadhil and JY who always makes it fun.. not to mention my wonderful co-actors and actress Adi,Joyce,Sara...hehe we're gonna give it our best shot guys! this holiday was also spent being in and out of hospital helping my grand aunt with her current illness.. praying that she'll pull through and continue her normal life again :) Havent exactly spent much time with alifya and gang so i wanna apologise for that cos i really havent got the time to...sorry babes.. oh ya! the OC is back this thurs!!!! which is tomoro!!! hehe -blush- hmmmm...jolene babe (my clubbing girl) if u happen to read this as well i also wanna apologise for not hanging out and going clubbing with ya hehe.. gosh pple! this holiday is burnt! but u noe theres always erm..ben..hahaha -wink- ciao guys!

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