Monday, November 29, 2004

woww..its been long..ya noe..i think i cry too much haha but yeah..u noe i think u've been really sweet to think of such beautiful poems for me..u made me cry cos i was touched..hehe...no one person has done tat much for me.. well for one thing im crazy about poems hehe..

" I wanted to see if your okay...so i stood there in e dark i saw you look around for me but i couldn't follow my heart...iwanted to walk up to you and hold you one last time.. but i knew if i took dat step, it would change my mind..no matter where i go now, your face is all i see..close your eyes on the darkness night and i'll meet you in your dreams..i know it wasnt said but i could swear you heard me with your heart instead.."
27/11/04 02.12

"There you are again in my dreams i thought i had lost you to all the miles and minutes that are between a voice not recognised... yet your laugh so true in this lonely emptiness..your memory at midnite enters my mind..feelings not allowed in a world of reality live strong in my unconscious..all that i have left is in those memories at midnite.."
25/11/04 19:33

"God made you so special...you are his werk of art...unique in everyway..all soul, body, mind and heart...this mix that makes you wonderful is no mean feat...making your life a gift to each one that you meet...cause this world is a better place because of u sweety..."
30/11/04 00:53

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Speaking of sweet talking, its nice to hear at first but subsequently it just gets on my nerves..like...when does the real u begin and where does the real you end...do u mean wat u say? or are u just saying it to please pple's ears...or just sayin it for the sake of sayin it..i so dunno man..hehe so lets just say dun give pple the wrong idea or pretending tat ur interested and later say ur not..its like a freakin slap across the face. How bout those who have the word revenge stuck to their foreheads? like A hurt her real bad and the next target who comes along B, who is interested in her, she does exactly wat A did to her to B...oh man...poor guy...does he deserve all that... its bullshit that pple can resort to such measures just to get back at the other sex... haha ok wats with me today...sorry just had to voice that out cos it gets on my nerves sooo badly...hehe noe wats the worse part, finding out that all this sweet talk which he says to u are all said to other girls as well..a vicious cycle..tat just makes u feel so super stupid haha tat u believed him n fell for his words..ok anyway ya...tats wat i wanted to say hehe..im getting weirder n crazier day by day...maybe cos im jus sooo bored..hehe k k hugs ciaoz..

*this blog entry has no discrimination against both the sexes..lol

Monday, October 18, 2004

Its the holidays and im soooooo bored...hmmm now im contemplating if i should work or just slack at home..hmmm i wanna give up on my tuition thingy...cos its a profession whereby i have to put in a lot of commitment..plus all tat project work and exams comin up in the second sem, i hardly think i can cope..so yup..hehe i dunno man...just resting at home one day is makin me go crazie...other than helping my mum mark her books, im geting way way way bored...didnt noe i could finish marking em fast huh.. -grins- i think im gonna fall sick man..cos im like down with the flu and all.. but i still wanna go shopping and the zoo..and a lot of places hehe i could say ive gone through a truckload of crap this year..its an experience though...i fall i pick myself up and i walk again...but it isnt easy.. but then again who says life was easy...sometimes its betta being single then get yourself tied down by unneccessary pain. but then again being single would mean u have sooo many freakin choices...erm..u dunno wat u want...that can cause pple to get fickle minded haha i dunno how true this is but read it in a magazine...when gals actually have problems, though talking it out wont solve it, but they feel better when they do...as for guys, talking it out is a hell no cos they believe that it still wont help them solve the problem..haha hmmm funnie huh how the minds of both genders work.. but somehow its true i guess..but then again im sure no matter how big a problem is..most importantly is one realises that he/she has pple who care for them and are willing to listen when they wanna talk.. :) the worse thing is to allow problems to become stresses and furthermore allow them to conquer ur life.. not all days in our lives are good days...when we feel lousy or down just look at it like its another bad day which is uncontrollable.. :) sometimes doing the things u like or enjoy helps in taking ur mind off things for a short while though u noe its still there... its a way of handling stress... telling it to someone u trust or knowing that this person will never put u down helps sometimes.. different pple have different opinions on issues.. all i noe is whenever im faced with problems which i cant take anymore, theres always my mum there to guide me to talk to me..by telling her how i feel sometimes, she makes me feel betta by carrying almost 3/4 of my burden... u noe sometimes friends arent everything...family is... Blood is definitely thicker than water... take care y'all out there who feel the world is on ur shoulders... hug hug :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Sometimes in life u dun always get what u want...who says fate has to always play a part...wats with all the "dun think abt it soo much if he/she is yours they'll belong to u eventually" look at it this way if u dun start doing sth abt someone u like...opportunity just slips away..u might never even get a second chance if need be... the worse part in this whole game of love is realising too late that u have feelings for a person...when u finally reveal to that person that u like em, the tables are turned and it hurts like shit when ya realise he/she had feelings for u before..and cause of leaving it all up to fate, u lose ur chance of being with him/her...sometimes something as amazing as vanilla ice cream topped with chocolate fudge is right in front of ur face, u just dun realise it till its tooo late...the saddest part is realising that ur feelings for the person has started to fade or sometimes vanished like totally when u have all along initiated to that person how much u felt for them.. it was tough giving up a couple of pple in my life...always having the idea that i was not good enough for them or that they didnt feel the same way (but i did ultimately...u just have to let em go..) to the extent that nothin else matters anymore even if they were to turn their heads and said they liked u back...so what even if u are willing to give up almost everything to be with that person, to compromise and make sacrifices..(sometimes it doesnt matter animore) no one said it was gonna be easy but whoeva said it was too tough to conquer as well? :) its through experiences that one learns to be tough to face up to ur own insecurities and duh! be with the one u like or love for that matter...Speaking about fate again, look at this scenario if everyone were to completely deem themselves solely on fate, love does not exist! For eg If a guy wanted to know a girl and he jus thought to himself: hmmm...i wanna noe her...but sigh..i dun think im gd enuf for her...anyway eventually if fate permits, i will get to know her and it'll work out" but who knows this girl might have met someone else and fell in love...do u think this guy would even exist in her heart? i doubt so..fate isnt everything...admitting to someone u like em isnt a sin.. its not sth i wouldnt do... however i must be sure that he's the one i want before i should do anything if not it'll end up hurting them...to a certain extent thats true but then again...sometimes waiting to see if hes the rite one does not always work out because u lose him before u even noe it lol in regards to the many people i so called "interviewed", most of which claimed that they wouldnt wanna admit it to the person they like cos it would eventually jeopardize even the friendship they had together...then again its partially true...but all the couples out there when they actually commit to each other and accept the feelings they had for each other, im sure they've thought abt that too..however, they are willing to take that risk and eventually they do achieve and attain wat they thought was unattainable... :) It's all about how u pursue ur happiness..im not saying fate is bullshit..all im saying is dun bang on it too hard...ciao guys n gals hugz

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

got my pair of hazel coloured contacts today...looking at me close up would seem like im a wolf with exotic eyes...thats way scary haha but from afar...its ok i guess...did a couple of stupid things today...like always...with linda alifya all..haha hmmm...doing crazie things can never stop me even though im sick...have been having the flu like since dunno when..haha ive been sniffing like some crazie fool..and my nose is so blocked...!! gosh..hehe but who cares.. -wink- goshh...i miss lotsa my friends man! (ok i noe that was a sudden thought thats why it came out all of a sudden hehe) i miss pple like...eugenia, diane, lionel cutie, fi fi boy, naughty alif, samantha, azlan boy...and a lot man! goshhh..havent seen most of them in a long long while...yeah i miss u guys so much..haha u noe theres one thing abt me even i myself just found out..haha i cant live without frens man! their part of my life...of cos the ones worth keeping..not the ones who just enjoy hurting me...but like who cares..im happi now so too bad..hehe look i told u im crazie...haha anyway today was a crazie and ok day la..haha hug hug n muackzzzz... as quoted" tonight...sleep tight sweet dreams remember ur blanket sweetz and keep yourself as warm as possible" by Faizal...hehe

Sunday, September 26, 2004

its been looooooong...haha but yeah im back...goshhh...of cos im not gonna blog all the shit that happened the past few months..hehe the past week has been hectic man! assignments date dues are sooo close together im dying...stressed stressed...still remember what happened last thursday...on my way to school i got off the bus and just fainted...gosh...that was how weak ive gotten..thank god alifya caught me before my head hit the floor...goodness...then now im sick again...arghhhh...but luckily most of the assignments are completed and my life can go back on track -wink- which means more shopping and more hanging out more singing and more dancing haha..just finished my second round of production last week...the audience liked it...but to me i felt that i sucked...and there was no self satisfaction at all..the nerves got the betta of me and it wasnt the best performance i knew i could put up... just a couple of week ago...got to know this amazing fun-loving (as he called himself) guy, Faizal...who happened to be Azlan's friend...till now im stioll confused abt how he got my number..aiya but heck la..its like the story keeps changing..haha but anyway hes a really nice guy who is both sweet n understanding..a nice person to talk to..and this particular stuff he does...is so so shocking! haha will elaborate furtehr in my next blog...love ya guys n gals! huggies

Monday, July 12, 2004

I think i looked alive today haha cos usually on monday mornings i always look blur n gong gong haha carried tons of books to sch today for a mathematics project. Apparently i was wondering whether shaiful was on e same train as me to sch so we could talk crap n go to sch together but that brat was actually driven to school by his father haha -grins- ms wong's lectures are getting kinda boring..it used to be interestin that i loved all her classes.. but the eye contact thingy still remained haha i always feel her eyes on me.. -pout- and shes always smiling haha hmmm as usual i had gastric pains again..it seems to be getting worse cos i always skip my meals n i dun eat on time..hopefully things would get betta since im monitoring my meal times n tryin hard not to skip meals..i can actually go without meals for a day...goodness haha.. its so disrupted this pattern..school finished early today at 12 but i had to stay back for a couple of project discussions till abt 1 plus to two.. cos i had to wait for the babes to finish theirs, i slacked at the library with la la aka lahiri -grins- to watch Bridget Jones's Diary. hmmm...kinda sick la the content haha not to mention the scenes that appear too skimpily haha a little sick at some parts too..la la n i laughed our asses off when we tried to read lips instead of using the headphones hehe surprisingly alifya appeared and watched the discovery of islam or sth like tat..i wanted to head to town to get sth but it was raining and it was wet n yucky so i changed my mind hehe and also i veri shy to see adam la haha cos i heard many stories about him haha (right lionel cutie?) -grins- ohhh ya talking abt lionel cutie..this boy soo cuuute actually mentioned abt bluetooth n tryin to locate pple from 10 metres away haha and it is way uncountable the number of times this boy had asked me if he was disturbing me...and for the last time no u arent ok ok..hehe took bus with fi fi boy oops i mean firdaus boy boy haha he hates (fi fi boy) this name..to the train station..and cos we were standing at the joining of the bus, i had this weird notion that if the bus split in two i would split too haha and kept askin him if that would really happen haha i think he got irritated.. -grins- oh ya..its still ur fault fi fi boy err..i mean firdaus boy boy that u said my glasses would break and it really did..psychic man! freaky.. hehehe k la i think i blog too much alreadi..besides me sleepy.. and when i get sleepy i become blur blur haha a wet wet ewww ewww monday but ok la..-wink- hug hug babes n hunks.. -smile-

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